I think I am pretty honest and open about the struggles that come with mental health disorders. Yeah, I often write about my accomplishments, but I’ve also tried hard to write about my failures and about the times when anxiety won. Today, I want to take an honest, in-depth look at how anxiety manifests itself. I want to show you how ugly it can be. Continue reading “An Honest Look at Anxiety”
A year ago, I found out I had a cavity. I was cavity-free for twenty-two years. All of a sudden, the horrors of having to get a filling were all too real. During my last check-up/cleaning in January, my dentist (who also happens to be a family friend) informed me that it was time to fill the cavity. The horror. Continue reading “The Bravest Twenty-Two Year Old at the Dentist”
Not really though. Not now at least. But sometimes I am. I have had a problem with anger, sometimes to the point of rage, since…forever. I remember being around ten years old, flying into such a rage that I couldn’t remember what I had said or done. That’s scary. Yesterday, I visited F’s church. His dad is a pastor. He preached on anger. You know how sometimes you go to a service and feel like the sermon was made just for you? Yeah…that’s how I felt yesterday. Continue reading “I’m So Angry!”
I have a lot of anxiety problems…I’m sure you know that by now. Sometimes, I like to make light of it while also showing what it feels like (to me). These are my main anxiety problems. Drawn just for you. Crappily. On Microsoft Paint. Continue reading “My 3 Types of Anxiety…(Illustrated on Microsoft Paint)”
I went through a pretty big break-up recently. It was a big deal. It was emotional, and it was difficult. It took months to decide if this is what I really wanted, and eventually I knew what I had to do. It was time to say goodbye. After 21 years, it was time to say goodbye to my home church.
The past few days, I feel as though I have given up the fight. It happens every once and a while. I just stop fighting the anxiety. I let it completely take over. I start wallowing in self-pity, self-loathing and dirty clothes (because I can’t be bothered to clean my room). It happens for different reasons every time. This time, it was because I convinced myself I had “postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome“…yeah… Continue reading “Fight”
…When I’m having a panic attack. Have you ever seen the way two-year olds act? Sometimes they can be pretty adorable. But other times…you just want someone to make them shut up. Well, I realized something. When I have a panic attack…I act like a two-year old. Seriously. Continue reading “I Am a Two-Year Old”
So today I feel as though I made some progress. A lot of my posts have been about my emetophobia lately because it’s been really, really bad. The past 5 years my emetophobia has been there, but it hasn’t been HORRIBLY bad. Well, the past few months it has basically stopped me from living. At least, living normally. But today, I think I made some progress. Continue reading “Making Progress? Maybe.”
My emetophobia stops me from doing a lot of things. I don’t feel like a normal 21 year old a lot of the time. When I’m too scared to go out to my friends housewarming party. When I’m too scared to go out to a bar. When I’m too scared to go see an up-and-coming local band play downtown. It sucks.