Just Me and My Selfishness

I am a selfish person. This took me many, many years to finally and freely admit, but it’s true. It’s partially because of my personality, and partially because of my anxiety. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t really matter – selfishness is selfishness. And it’s a relationship killer. It’s destructive. I hate it.  Continue reading “Just Me and My Selfishness”

I’m So Angry!

Not really though. Not now at least. But sometimes I am. I have had a problem with anger, sometimes to the point of rage, since…forever. I remember being around ten years old, flying into such a rage that I couldn’t remember what I had said or done. That’s scary. Yesterday, I visited F’s church. His dad is a pastor. He preached on anger. You know how sometimes you go to a service and feel like the sermon was made just for you? Yeah…that’s how I felt yesterday. Continue reading “I’m So Angry!”

Failures

We can’t be good at everything. I know that. I’ve never considered myself a perfectionist. For example, In grade 3, my best friend at the time failed a math test. So did I. She cried for 10 minutes. I wondered why she cared so much. In high school, I was happy with 70’s. Although I aim for much higher now that I’m in university, I’m still not hard on myself when it comes to school. I’m not a perfectionist when it comes to my personal space either. I’m disorganized. I’m a slob. I’m messy. I’m perfectly fine with making mistakes when it comes to work – I know that I will learn from them. However, when it comes to personal failures, I feel like the world is about to end.  Continue reading “Failures”

What Happens if I Stop Worrying?

…Well, I’m not sure. Because I’ve never successfully stopped. I’m not in a constant state of worry (though I’m sure some people in my life would beg to differ), but I’ve never had real peace of mind. There is never a time when I feel 100% safe or relaxed or comfortable. Partially, of course, it’s because I have an anxiety disorder. But it’s not just that. I think it’s also because I’m scared of what would happen if I stopped worrying.

Continue reading “What Happens if I Stop Worrying?”

We All Want to be Cool Christians, Right?

CoolJesus

I’m pretty sure the above picture is a joke. At least, I sort of hope it is. I understand that in our society where religion is lame and a “do-whatever-makes-you-happy” attitude is so prevalent that it can sometimes be hard on us. Sometimes you just want to fit in. Sometimes, you just want to be cool.  Continue reading “We All Want to be Cool Christians, Right?”

Breaking Up: It’s Not You, It’s Me

I went through a pretty big break-up recently. It was a big deal. It was emotional, and it was difficult. It took months to decide if this is what I really wanted, and eventually I knew what I had to do. It was time to say goodbye. After 21 years, it was time to say goodbye to my home church.

Continue reading “Breaking Up: It’s Not You, It’s Me”