Late Twenties: Facing The Quarter Life Crisis

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Jefferson and I when we were babies

Okay, so, like usual, I am not as creative as I think I am. Since I turned 26 (last year – I’m 27 now), I feel like I’ve been having a perpetual mid-life crisis. Except, hopefully, this is not my mid-life, so I guess it’s my quarter-life crisis. And yeah, that’s a thing – that I definitely did not make up.

It was like the second I turned 26 I started having a consistent existential crisis that just would not fully go away. Even though, in reality, my life has been better now than it’s ever been before.

My husband Jefferson and I have been married for over four years now, and we’ve learned a lot about ourselves and about each other. We’ve grown, and we’re happier than ever before (those who said things get better with time were right!)

We own a house, we have two great pups, we’re both settling well into our careers (though my husband did have a recent job change – it’s a job in a similar career path).

So, what’s the problem?

I honestly don’t really know. I guess realizing that I’m not as young as I used to be. That if we want to do things, like say, have biological children, that is something we actually need to discuss and plan for within the next few years.

It’s not one of those “we’ll figure it out when the time comes” conversations anymore – it’s a “well, we should probably figure that out” conversation.

And if we want to do things like change careers, that has a big impact on our life and our family. It’s not like when we were church interns or worked at retail stores; when leaving your job didn’t really mean anything at all.

And it’s also realizing that hey…maybe you’re not really going to do anything all that interesting with your life. Ever.

Like, maybe you won’t write that second book, and maybe you and your husband won’t actually become the next big video game streamers (…a not-so-secret dream of mine…) 

And it’s comparing – oof. “Comparison is the thief of joy” – yes, we’ve all heard that. But it’s true. Of course, it’s hard to not compare at any stage of life.

As a teenager, obviously, I compared myself to my friends. From their ‘perfect’ outfits to their ‘perfect’ high school relationships.

But honestly, in high school, everyone is pretty much in the same boat. You gotta get to school at the same time, you’ve got the same teachers, you’re stuck in the same place.

Yeah, some friends have boyfriends and others, like me, hadn’t even held hands with a guy yet. But really…at the end of the day, high school pretty much places everyone at the same starting line.

But then…in your late twenties. Wow. Some people you know are still single and partying every night, while others have very much settled down and have 2-3 kids already. Some people are millionaires, some are struggling. Some people live with their parents, others own mansions. Some people have their dream jobs while others are still in university.

This is a WEIRD time, and it’s really easy to compare your life to those who are the same age as you and have exactly what you’ve always wanted. Yeah, I know that’s bad. I definitely gotta stop doing that. But it’s hard!

So, I don’t know – maybe the point of this is to just say if you’re feeling this way, you definitely aren’t alone (and a quick google search will show you that too).

If you want to feel even less alone, I’ve compiled a list of “resources” (aka other articles I read that made me feel better) below.

I don’t even necessarily agree with everything each article says, but it was reassuring simply knowing I was NOT alone…and these feelings were normal.

 

Quarter Life Crisis Resources

 

If you’re having a quarter-life crisis or got through one…I’d love to hear what the heck you did to feel better.

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