Hello! I know I keep saying that I’m going to be more consistent at blogging and apparently failing at that…so, I’m sorry! Just when I think my life has settled, something happens once again (I guess that is just regular life though, right?)
Over the past few months, my husband and I have done a lot of soul-searching. As we reach our ‘late twenties’ (gasp), we finally came to a point where “we’ll talk about that in the future” became “we should probably talk about that now.”
One of those things was my husband’s career path, and after a very stressful few months of waiting, discerning, and talking to our therapist, my husband applied for a new job – in a new field – and he got it.
So for us, that meant saying goodbye to the world of being a “Professional Christian,” as a friend and another youth pastor’s wife put working in ministry. This was both relieving and sad.
Since our first day of marriage, my husband had worked in a church – at many times, I had worked alongside him, either through my own ministry job or volunteering.
So, although we both thought this was the right decision for us and our little family, it’s still been a hard transition – especially because we’ve had SO much change over the last four years (we moved four times in three years just to name some of the stuff that’s happened!)
On top of that, this has felt like the year of doctor’s appointments. Usually, a single blood test or medical exam is enough to make me panic for months on end. But in less than a year, I have had:
- My 10-year tetanus booster (vaccine)
- The chickenpox vaccine x2 (I never had the chickenpox as a kid!)
- An endoscopy (I did it awake)
- Blood work (twice – including one this morning)
- A full physical (yes, that includes the dreaded PAP test)
- Two cavities filled (ugh!)
- Multiple ECGs (I have an irregular heart rhythm)
How I feel lately
So, to give you a life update, I am tired. And kind of cranky. And I just want to flop over some days. But, I’m actually doing okay. If you’ve read any of my recent posts, you’ll know that my anxiety has been under control (well, as under control as I can get it at this point).
That’s part of the reason why blogging has been so hard – because I don’t even really know what to blog about, when so much of my identity is tied to my (usually quite poor) mental health.
That’s not to say I’m not anxious at all, or am not still working through a lot of mental health issues. But overall, aside from some health anxiety here and there, my anxiety hasn’t really been controlling me life – which is super cool.
Also, I’m in the middle of a huge bedroom renovation – and even though my house is in total disarray, I’m doing okay with that too!
My next post will definitely be about that reno – I’ve missed writing those kinds of posts! If you want to check out some of the previous renovations we’ve done around our home, you can see:
I’m looking forward to updating you all on these renovations! Honestly, renovating my home has been, strangely, one of the best things for my mental health.
Making my space MY OWN – and also, it’s exhausting! There’s not a lot of things better for anxiety than simply tiring out your brain.