My 5 year WordPress anniversary is today. I thought it was May 23rd (which is also my wedding anniversary and inspired this post last year) because I received the ‘happy anniversary’ notification late last year, but it is actually the 21st (Whatever, close enough to still make my previous post relevant!) So, happy five year anniversary, I’m Fine, Stop Asking!
Last year at this time, I was not in a great place. My husband had just resigned from his job – the job we thought would bring stability and some semblance of peace for years to come. We knew that within the next month, we would have to move again (move #3 in less than two years!) and we knew that we would soon have to find a new church family. Again. A lot of changes in just two years of marriage.
Last year, On May 23rd, I wrote this:
The last few weeks have been awful for me and my anxiety. Every day I wake up stressed out that my husband won’t find another ministry position and we’ll be stuck living in my parent’s basement for years and he’ll be stuck working a dead end job forever. I worry that we’ll never be secure again. I worry that our future is ruined.
That was one year ago. Just one year ago. Little did we know that just a few weeks after I wrote that post, my husband would find a job. A new ministry position at a church that has been a huge blessing to us. With other young couples and new friends and a huge support system and so much love from so many new people.
Not only did he find a new job at a church that honestly couldn’t be a better fit for both of us, we also bought a house in January. Our own house. We were not destined to live in my parent’s basement for years (though at some points it did feel like that). We are both happy and secure in our jobs (and I honestly never thought I would find a job I could tolerate, let alone enjoy).
I’ve said this before, but I love having this blog. Because I can go back and see what I wrote days, weeks, months, and years ago. And see that I’ve made it through every single thing I thought I couldn’t.
The funny (re: annoying?) thing is, I still have to work through similar thoughts like the ones I had last year. Even though things are pretty good right now. My anxiety is generally under control, and I finally feel like I have some stability. I still fall into the same negative thought patterns.
But in general, this is the best I’ve been in a really long time – and I’m trying to enjoy that.