Anxiety, Life In General

Three Years Ago; One Week From Now

Three years ago I thought I was going through the most stressful time of my life. I thought I would barely make it through March. I wanted to quit school and skip town. I wanted the year to be over with. I wanted to “fast forward” to the future.

Well, here you are, Lauren from March 2015. And let me tell you, current Me also thinks I’m going through the most stressful time of my life. 

It’s weird to think back to March 2015. Looking back now, everything seemed so simple. I was still in university, finishing off my fourth year. I was engaged, still living at home, never worrying about cooking or cleaning or bills or what I now consider real adult life.

So, why did I think my life was just SO stressful? Well, I was two months away from getting married. Granted, that is a pretty big change for most people and generally, wedding planning is pretty rough.

I was also in the process of publishing my book through my university, and the deadline was mid-March. Also pretty stressful, I guess. But now it’s really exciting to be a published author and a wife! Wedding stress and intensive university classes just seem to be such a weird, distant feeling now.

Now, I feel “real” stress, obviously.

One week from today, my husband and I will (you know, God willing) gain possession of our very first home. Yep. First-time homeowners. First time with a big ol’ mortgage and a ton of bills and a bunch of renovations and a loooot of responsibility.

I have also been struggling a LOT with my health anxiety. It’s always hard to tell what is real and what is anxiety. I’ve been having a lot of issues with my stomach (what else is new?) but it just seems…worse. I’m bloated ALL the time, like really bloated. It hurts after eating pretty much everything. I feel tired and weak and generally anxious.

I’m going for some blood work this week to figure out if it’s something more than just anxiety…but this has happened to me before. And bloodwork always seems to come back fine, which is honestly almost more frustrating because I would like an answer!

Anxiety can mimic SO many symptoms. Literally. I was recently reading a Reddit thread about super rare diseases and I have almost every symptom from every disease! It’s incredibly frustrating living your life constantly feeling like crap and nothing you do helps (btw if anyone has any suggestions or has gone through similar stomach issues, I’d love to hear your advice).

Anywaaay, side rant over.

This is all to say that three years from now, I’ll probably look back at this time in my life and laugh and think “25-year-old Lauren thought THAT was stressful!?! Ha!”

Because even though buying a house is stressful, and getting married is stressful…it all passes. Soon mortgage payments won’t be a scary thought of the future, but a monthly reality that I no longer even notice. Just like marriage and living with someone was a terrifying unknown, and now I can’t imagine my life any other way.

So yeah, I guess I’ll keep updating on…everything. Hopefully, I’ll actually work up the courage to get my blood work done, because man, I hate needles too.

3 thoughts on “Three Years Ago; One Week From Now”

  1. Hi Lauren.
    So sorry you are feeling that much discomfort.
    My dear wife of 44 years suffers similar discomfort so you have our sympathies.
    (I won’t go into the causes as there are so many causes which can give those symptoms, some quite simple, so not so. The body is such a complex set-up; physical can cause emotional-can cause mental-can cause physical and so on it’s difficult to know just what started what, where and when. We just keep on keeping on and never give up hope for finding an end to it)
    Best wishes to you.
    Roger

    1. Thank you Roger! Yes it has definitely been a challenge – I’m sorry to hear that your wife has gone through similar issues. My doctor has recommended a diet that has apparently helped a lot of other people with my symptoms, so we’ll see if that works…if not, I’m guessing more tests are in order. Oh well. Thanks again for sharing your experiences :)

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