I usually write whenever I need to vent or when I want to share my crappy experiences in hopes that I can make someone else feel better…or at least laugh. But I want to share the other side of my mental illness – the side when it is not overwhelming and that voice quiets down for just a moment.
I kind of hate inspirational quotes. Not all of them, but a lot of them are…cliché. We’ve heard them over and over again until they lose meaning. One of those quotes: “Everyone wants happiness, nobody wants pain, but you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain.”
Though I won’t be posting that inspirational quote all over my Instagram of Facebook page, I sort of see some truth in it. The thing with anxiety or any severe long-term mental illness (or physical illness), even average days can easily become great days after a whole lotta rain.
So last week, I had a good day. And you know what, I’ve been having a lot of good days lately. Maybe it’s the Christmas decorations and time of year. Maybe it’s the fact that for the first time in my life, I’m becoming part of a stable community. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m actually pursuing my dreams.
I don’t know. But even though the pain is still there, both physical and emotional, I’ve been okay.
What does a good day look like for me? It looks like waking up early, noticing my husband already made a morning coffee for me.
It looks like getting started on my day’s tasks and finishing before noon. It looks like taking Max to the dog park and watching him go nuts in the snow.
It looks like wrapping Christmas presents with our new fancy wrapping paper while listening to music. It looks like laughing with my husband as I unsuccessfully ambush enemies in Legend of Zelda.
It looks like doing this all without a panic attack.
My good days may look like pretty average days, but those average moments could not be more magical.