Okay, I haven’t blogged in a few weeks, and this always happen to me when I take a break from blogging – I feel like I have nothing to talk about. Writer’s block. Gross. Anyway, I figured if I didn’t blog soon, I might never blog again, so here it goes.
My life now is busier than it’s ever been. Okay, that’s not entirely true. There were times last year when my life was busier than this – but it is now consistently busier than it’s ever been before.
I have a job, and I work now. Only part-time, but I work. And it’s great. I love it. In September, I have to go back to school to finish up my degree – I’m only three classes away, but that’s still three classes of work + a job + a dog + maintaining an entire house.
This busyness probably would have scared me last year. Last year, my living situation made everything scarier and more stressful than it should have been. For the first time in my LIFE, I gained too much weight. I do not stress eat. I usually just don’t eat at all when I’m stressed. But last year my depression overthrew my anxiety – and eating seemed like the only thing I could control. So I gained too much weight. and I didn’t even care.
Since moving to our new city (only two months ago) it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off me. Getting my dog was also the best decision I could have ever made. We adopted him on June 19th, and since then, I have only had one minor depressive episode (compared to 1-2 severe episodes a week) and one serious panic attack (compared to countless episodes a week) I’ve also already almost gone back to my normal, healthy weight – and I like being busy!
I am not scared of busyness! Do you know how amazing that feels? Last year whenever something new came up, I would have a panic attack. I felt like I couldn’t handle anything outside of my two or three classes. Since moving to a stable, safe environment (my own house with just me and my husband!), I love doing things again.
I love exploring our new city, taking my puppy to new trails and parks, going on walks around our own neighbourhood. I also love working, and for the first time ever, I have a job I’m excited to work at.
So, yes, my life is busy. I work and take care of a puppy – if you’ve never had a puppy you probably don’t know how exhausting they are. But trust me. They are exhausting. But I’m actually enjoying the busyness – I finally feel productive, and I actually feel pretty happy.