Crap Happens: Crap Edition


This is my third “Crap Happens” post, and it is the most literal edition ever. Let me tell you about Wednesday night. 

Wednesday night rolls around, and I’m exhausted. Max had a pretty rough day, as puppies occasionally do, and he was a lot to handle. Jefferson (my husband) was working all day, and I worked my first shift ever in the morning. From home. Which meant I had to deal with the little monster.

On top of that, there were roofers at the house aaaaall day, so taking the dog out to pee was nearly impossible, as he freaked out every time someone made the slightest noise outside.

Anyway, around 10:30, we finally put our nutty dog to sleep in his crate, and all is well. We’re exhausted, but that’s okay. As we walk upstairs, we spot a MASSIVE ant on the floor. Like, a queen sized ant. My brave and courageous husband ferociously kills this ant, and throws it into the toilet.

We flush it. We hear some weird sounds in the pipes, but, you know, this house is 80 years old. We try flushing again. The toliet starts to overflow. Cool.


Now, an overflowing toilet isn’t a huge deal. The toilet in our old basement apartment was horrible, and clogged up on a weekly basis. We were totally used to that. But then…the noises continued. And then the smell hit. Sewage backed up into our bathtub and the toilet exploded (thankfully clean water) all over the floor.


Ah, but it gets better from there! We here a strange noise coming from the basement! Beautiful! My husband runs as fast as he can down the stairs and VOILA! A burst pipe creates a waterfall from the ceiling! Magical!


So at this point, I am beyond stressed. Our house smells like a sewer, our basement is the new Niagara Falls, and it’s 11:30 at night, so no one will be able to fix it until the next day.

Because of the stench and the fact that we have to turn off our water, we decide the best course of action would be to drive aaaall the way to stay at my parent’s place. They live an hour away.

So, we pack up Max and his crate and his food and his toys. And we pack up our essentials, and load up our little Toyota, and head out around 12:00 a.m.

Yay, it’s all over! Woo, time to relax!

Except, NO! Jokes on you. It’s not actually over yet! Because guess what? Sometimes, construction happens on the highway in the middle of the night when “no one” will be driving. We come to an abrupt stop as a police car drives slowly in front of us, blocking all three lanes. I then realize there are only two cars ahead of us.

Two cars. Two. Cars. This means, if we had literally left two minutes earlier, we would have missed the lane blockage completely. But we didn’t. We left two minutes too late. And so we sat at a standstill on the highway for over half an hour. Stuck. With a puppy. At 12:30 at night. Well, as I’m sure you can just imagine, I lost it.


I was essentially non-functional for that entire time we were stuck in traffic. Sobbing, hyperventilating, even screaming uncontrollably. It was actually kind of scary, because I felt like I lost all control over my mind. Unlike my first “crap happens” incident, I was not able to look at this situation in any sort of positive light. I was too exhausted, and the situation was too intense. We didn’t get to my parents house until past 1:00 a.m. and we didn’t get to sleep until 2. All in all, it was horrible.

However, it is a relatively funny story now. I definitely overreacted like usual, but I think this situation would have stressed out even the average person.

Thankfully, the plumbing was fixed Thursday morning not even 12 hours after the incident, AND the roofers finished around that time too so I got my nice, quiet house back.

So, even though I reacted horribly, I am going to try to remember this incident because even though my house smelled like crap for a while, it was definitely not the end of the world.

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