Anxiety, Faith, Life In General

Transition

transitio

This post will probably be a jumbled mess of ramblings riddled with spelling mistakes because I am pretty hyped up on caffeine right now and also extremely stressed out. On the plus side, I have also had a few good days mixed on with all the…weird ones. I have missed almost every single one of my sociology classes. Moving + pre-existing anxiety/depression + transitioning out of our previous church (Friday was our last day) + SCHOOL ON TOP OF ALL THAT = Barely functional Lauren.

I don’t even really know where to start. I have my final test on Wednesday. I missed a collection of small assignments all worth 25% of my mark, so my entire mark will be based on the 75% that I’ve actually done. It’s pass/fail…all I need is a 50% to get the credit. It won’t even be on GPA, and yet I’m STILL nervous about my upcoming test, even though I received over 90% on the first two! What is wrong with me.

On Friday, Jefferson and I said goodbye to the church we worked closely with for the past year. Jefferson interned there since last June, and I volunteered for their day camp last summer. Then, I worked as a family ministries intern from October – January, while also working as a volunteer for Sunday School and youth group for the rest of the year. I’m sure you can imagine it was a difficult day. For the last year, we spent between 12-30 hours at this church every single week. Last July, we were at the church 40+ hours a week!

Even though I know we are supposed to be where we are now, at New Church in New City (and I honestly couldn’t be happier), it was still hard and it was still sad and I’m going to miss a lot of the people we’d come to know so well over the last year.

Because I have been so excited about starting at our new church, I kind of forgot how hard transition out of Old Church was going to be – and then it kind of hit me all at once on Friday night at youth group, when I realized I wouldn’t get to see my grade 10 small group girls every week anymore, and I wouldn’t get to see my mentor every Sunday morning, and I wouldn’t get to hang out in the office on Friday afternoons while Jefferson worked and I played Hearthstone. So yeah, this week has been though.

So, although things have been stressful and my life has been full of transitions, some good has happened in the last few weeks too. Since 2010, I have been consistently prayer journalling. I found it to be the easiest way to keep my spiritual life on track, and it was also an amazing way to track how God was working in my life.

I don’t know what happened, but when I got married…I kind of just, stopped. I don’t even know where my prayer journal from last year is. I’m pretty sure it only has 3 or 4 entries in it anyway.

I need a prayer journal. I have a very hard time staying consistent without one. My thoughts are constantly muddled with anxiety, and prayer journalling allowed me to connect with God through written word – the best way I communicate. Since I stopped prayer journalling (and because of a few other factors), my spiritual life REALLY took a hit.

Yesterday, I decided enough was enough. I couldn’t find my old prayer journal, so my husband and I (who spontaneously decided he wanted to begin journalling too) went to our local Indigo and bought ourselves prayer journals!

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My newest prayer journal!

I wrote in it for the first time this morning, and I already feel like I’m finally starting to get back to where I was before.

Last week, Jefferson and I tried our hand at thrift shopping! I know a lot of people love thrift shopping, but I’m not a huge fan of…vintage. I’m more of a modern girl. So, I was a bit skeptical I would find anything at all that I liked. Still, it was a cheap date and I thought it would be fun. So off we went.

We checked out three local thrift stores. I was pleasantly surprised! Although it took a bit of digging, we left with four items. I wanted to take a picture of all of them, but I only have my phone camera and it was not cooperating this morning.

Anyway, the first thing I found was a ton of National Geographic magazines! I know that sounds a bit lame, but I LOVE National Geographic, and they are expensive! I bought 3 fairly recent magazines, all in perfect condition, and they came out to about one dollar.

Then Jefferson found the cutest popcorn bowl. It was white, ceramic? honestly, I’m not sure what’s made out of…but it’s heavy and white. And in bright, red letters POPCORN sprawls across the front. We also found a white ceramic? salad bowl, which I desperately needed. Our only salad bowl right now is an extremely cheap plastic one we picked up for about $5.00 when we first got married. Both those items came out to less than $6.00

And finally, I found THIS:

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Yes, this is the best picture my potato of a phone camera would take.

I’ve been looking everywhere for an affordable wedding picture scrapbooking kit. They are impossible to find when you basically have no budget. I’ve had my wedding pictures sitting around in a bag for at least six months – and now I can finally start to work doing something with them!

This kit was brand new – everything was intact, and all the (600!!) items it said it came with were right there in the box! It was $4.00.

So although I only came home with four items (well, I guess six if you include all three magazines), I was pleased that I found anything at all…especially the wedding scrapbook kit!

So…yeah. Life has been pretty stressful and full of transitions the past few weeks. Still, I was able to find a bit of joy in it all. Hopefully my life will begin to settle soon.

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