Anxiety, Life In General

Moved!

moved

Six days ago, my husband and I moved. Well, sort of. Last Saturday, we packed up all our belongings, loaded them onto a U-Haul, and drove an hour away from our basement apartment.

Except, we didn’t stay in our new home. We just moved all our stuff, and went to live with my parents for a few days. I’m taking summer school, and our new house is a bit of a trek.

So we decided it would a) be easier if we stayed at my parents this weekend until my classes were over for the week and b) make the transition a bit easier for me. It definitely did make the transition easier…but it still was not easy.

On Wednesday after a term test for my summer course, we came back to our new home. We arrived at around 11:30. And I was already overwhelmed. I guess I forgot about just how much STUFF we have…because as soon as I saw all the boxes that needed unpacking, I kind of freaked out.

I tried to hold it together, though. I knew Jefferson (my husband) was SO excited about moving and I didn’t want to ruin that for him. I started organizing the kitchen (which is probably my favourite part of the house – it’s HUGE and was just renovated!) I actually started having fun. But then…an unexpected visitor arrived.

Now, this person did absolutely nothing wrong…but I was not in the frame of mind to host anyone in our new home. I was fragile. As excited as I was about moving, change terrifies me and anything could have set me off. And that’s what happened. I was set off.

The visitor stayed for about an hour. Thirty minutes of that hour was spent panicking in my new bedroom, crying my eyes out, texting one of my best friends to help me keep it together. I know it sounds crazy, but I was just starting to feel like I had some control over my new situation when BAM! All of a sudden I couldn’t unpack, I couldn’t clean, and I had to fake a smile for a person I barely knew. My anxiety was through the roof. It couldn’t get any higher.

That was it. The day was over for me. Jefferson and I drove back to my parent’s house, and stayed the night. This morning, feeling much more relaxed, we returned to the house.

And we had way more success! We went grocery shopping, organized the fridge and the pantry, and then cleaned the entire kitchen! After a bit of a break, Jefferson suctioned up all the cobwebs and spiders (this house is 80 years old and was vacant for a year…so I’m sure you can imagine the BUGS in this place).

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Our new kitchen! Fully cleaned and organized counters!Β 

Somehow, my anxiety levels remained low. I was feeling good. I cleaned the bathroom (and to my dismay, I forgot to pack rubber gloves). However, I learned to improvise from my parents.

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This is what happens when you are a germophobe and forget rubber gloves.Β 

After all the toilet cleaning and bug vacuuming, I made eggs on toast for lunch! I was actually in a good enough state of mind to cook something (even if it was just a tiny little thing). After that, we drove down the street and bought some internet. It’s not hooked up yet though. We’re actually hanging out in the church right now because we needed to check e-mails and….blog, apparently.

I thought we were going to give up doing anymore house stuff, because I was pretty exhausted. But nope! I got a jolt of excitement and energy, and we organized my new home office!

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A slightly dark picture of my new office.

And then we were done for the day, for real. I am pretty exhausted, both emotionally and physically. Still, I am doing WAY better than I thought I would be doing during my first (sort of) day at my new house. I know there will be obstacles, and I am almost positive there will be a breakdown somewhere in the near future. But today, things are good. And I’m going to enjoy that while it lasts.

P.S. Aside from getting married, moving is probably the scariest/more exciting thing ever. At least, that I’ve experienced so far!

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