So, I haven’t blogged in over a week and honestly, I still don’t know what to write about. But I realize that if I don’t stay somewhat consistent, I’ll probably go months without writing anything at all. So here it is, another life update.
The biggest reason I haven’t blogged recently is because there is something BIG I want to blog about sooooo badly – and I still can’t write about it. Why? Because it’s not public knowledge yet, and I would hate if anyone close to me and my husband found this information out via my blog. Sometimes, I really miss being anonymous.
Anyway, that blog post can wait.
So, I haven’t blogged a lot about my life recently because I was so focused on my “Dear Young Me” series. Which, by the way, I loved writing and found pretty therapeutic. I totally recommend writing letters to your past self like a crazy person.
I also finished my semester on Wednesday! Woo! Final exams = over. I still have summer school (two classes) and one course (statistics…) to take in the fall, but then I should actually, for real, BE DONE MY UNDERGRAD! (Lord willing) And it only took me six years!
My mood has actually been pretty amazing lately. Most days I just have mild anxiety and I haven’t had a depressive episode in over a month! For the most part, I actually feel excited about the future. I’ve been worrying about death a lot less and my stomach has mostly cooperated. My emetophobia has been almost non-existent.
Things haven’t been perfect though. I have been having a weird issue with my ears (constant popping plus some weird “whirring” sound every once in a while). My doctor doesn’t think it’s anything serious, but I have to go see a specialist because the medication she gave me three weeks ago didn’t work.
Now, most people would just be like – oh, I probably have some sort of ear problem.
Except not me! Because the power of my anxious brain likes to make everything WAY MORE SERIOUS! So instead of worrying about an ear problem, I’m convinced once again that I have like, a brain issue. Because I also have been having issues with my eyes (and yes, I did get them checked out by my eye doctor. And yes, he told me there was nothing wrong with them and that my anxiety was causing those issues).
But I’ve also been getting a lot of pressure headaches lately.
So in my mind, ear problems + eye problems + headaches = death? I don’t even know if those are symptoms of something serious, but Dr. Lauren’s Brain keeps telling me they are.
Even though my eye doctor told me not to worry and that my eye problem was caused by dry eyes and anxiety.
So, overall I’d say I’m like, a 7.5/10 right now. I think that’s a significant improvement from last month, where we thought I might have to be hospitalized for this.
I’ve also been jogging consistently for two months now! I’ve noticed some great changes in my body, including my ability to not be totally out of breath when I walk up a flight of stairs now! I also partially credit jogging to my increased mood. Exercise is awesome.