So, a million years ago (a.k.a. two years ago, even though it did feel like forever ago), I wrote this post. That post was about dropping a statistics course (a required statistics course) because I couldn’t handle it.
My anxiety was just too bad, apparently. Well guess what, Past Lauren?! Not only are you anxious AND depressed now – you’re taking statistics all over again. And this time, you can’t drop it.
I was halfway through that stupid course. I could have just finished it. Yeah, my GPA would have suffered a bit. But it’s not like I’ve suddenly become a math genius who will do a great job in stats now.
Today I looked at the syllabus. There are three short assignments, three long assignments, a midterm, and a final test.
When I took it two years ago, it was twelve short quizzes that took place during every tutorial. No take-home assignments. No midterm. No final test.
I am currently hating myself right now.
I am so frustrated with myself and with my mental state and with my inability to have just finished my undergrad in four years like a normal person. I have 7 classes left to take. Four now, and three in the summer. Then I am done.
In six months, I’ll be free. But at this point, I don’t even care. All I want to do is give us. Today I had my first class, and I couldn’t even go. I couldn’t work up the energy to get into my car and drive the hour it takes to get to class.
It seems all the hope I had from a few days ago is gone. I don’t know what to do.