Everyone talks about “living in the present.” I’m sure most people actually don’t, but I’m not talking about living in the past or even in the future. Well, I’m kind of talking about living in the future to be honest. I think that a lot of us live in the “almost.”Think about it. Think about our language and what we talk about on a daily basis.
“Class is almost over.”
“It’s almost time for bed.”
“It’s almost lunchtime.”
“It’s almost my break.”
“Just a minute, I’m almost done this level!”
“I can’t talk now, my favourite show is almost starting.”
Now think about it on a bigger scale.
“It’s almost Christmas” has become a time in itself. We celebrate “Almost Christmas” throughout the entire month of December. We decorate our trees and listen to Christmas music and go to Christmas parties and bake Christmas cookies and shop and wrap presents. We do this all before December 25th. We celebrate the almost.
It’s not just Christmas that we do this with. “I’m almost married” is the engagement. We celebrate the birth of babies before they’re even born. “It’s Almost Spring and Easter.” “It’s almost New Years.” “It’s almost the summer.” “It’s almost back to school.”
Almost has become a time itself. But I would say this almost living is the same as living in the future and ignoring the present.
I mean, I don’t have a problem enjoying the Christmas season. Actually, it’s my favourite time of the year. I don’t think that’s harmful. I used that as an example to show how prevalent this kind of language and thinking is in our society.
I am constantly living in the almost. Right now, my almost is “I’m almost done my undergrad.”
I feel like I’m in a weird stage because I’m finishing off just a few classes per semester, but I’m not done yet. I don’t feel fully engaged in school because, honestly, I’m tired of it. But I also cannot fully engage with the post-graduate work world because I’m not actually done yet. So yeah, I’m living in the almost.
But yesterday, I decided to stop that.
I am embracing the fact that I’m not done school yet, and that’s okay.
I am embracing the fact that right now, I have two professors who seem to care a lot about me and are willing to help me figure out new ways of entering the writing world.
I am no longer going to be the girl who’s “almost done her undergrad.” I am the girl who’s doing her undergrad. That’s it. I’m doing it.
Almost done isn’t done. And that’s okay. I’m okay with not being done. Yes, literally, I am “almost done” because I have completed almost all my classes and program requirements. Still, I’m not going to let that “almost” take over and make me wish that I was “finally done.” Because being “almost done” means that I’m looking towards the “done.” And I want to enjoy the rest of my undergrad, even if it does take me six years to finish.