We can’t be good at everything. I know that. I’ve never considered myself a perfectionist. For example, In grade 3, my best friend at the time failed a math test. So did I. She cried for 10 minutes. I wondered why she cared so much. In high school, I was happy with 70’s. Although I aim for much higher now that I’m in university, I’m still not hard on myself when it comes to school. I’m not a perfectionist when it comes to my personal space either. I’m disorganized. I’m a slob. I’m messy. I’m perfectly fine with making mistakes when it comes to work – I know that I will learn from them. However, when it comes to personal failures, I feel like the world is about to end.
Just yesterday, I wrote a blog post about mine and my fiancé’s struggle with refraining from sex before marriage. Just yesterday, I posted that we decided to stop kissing altogether about a week ago. Just yesterday, I posted about choosing God above my own desires.
This morning, I failed. We failed.
I felt like a hypocrite. Did that seriously just happen? One day after I write about our success, I fail.
What kind of person does that make me? Are we going to continue failing God? Continue failing each other? Am I going to continue failing my fiancé? I am going to continue failing myself?
I know I shouldn’t have thought like this. I know that we are all imperfect, struggling to do what we believe is right, struggling to find a balance, struggling to succeed. I know that millions of couples struggle with this, and millions of couples struggle with other persistent issues that never seem to go away. We shouldn’t beat ourselves up over it. We shouldn’t think that we’ve failed.
But by definition, we did fail.
“Failure is the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, and may be viewed as the opposite of success”
Our intended objective was to refrain from all sexual contact, including kissing. We did not meet our objective. We failed. We experienced the opposite of success. But I had to remember that our failures are not permanent. As Christians, we believe that once we confess and whole-heartedly give this up to God, we are forgiven. We are no longer failures. This failure is now just a thing of the past. We should not allow ourselves to be defined by our past, or by our failures.
Not meeting an expectation does not mean you will never meet it.
Not meeting an expectation does not mean you don’t want to meet it.
I felt like I would never live up to my own expectations. I felt like I would never do or be what God wanted. I know that this isn’t true.
This feeling had happened in the past concerning our struggle.
This feeling was never productive.
2 Corinthians 12:9 says:
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
We are all weak. We all make mistakes. We are all failures. Whether your failure is a struggle with sexual sin, lying, greed, selfishness, jealousy, lusting…whatever it may be – God’s grace is sufficient for you.
His grace was sufficient for me this morning. I got over myself. I stopped feeling like a failure and started feeling like a human being. We are all weak, but that’s okay. This morning, I realized that yeah – I do fail sometimes. If being a failure means not meeting a desirable objective, then I will always be a failure. Because I will never be perfect.
And that’s okay.