There’s a lot going on in my life right now. I mentioned some of those things in my last post. Some good, some bad. Some could go either way. Tomorrow, I have a final test (that I barely studied for). I’ve come down with a really bad cold (which is impeding me from studying because my nose is a faucet and my head is a balloon). I found out I can pick up my new car tomorrow. I have to wear this stupid heart monitor for 12 more days. Normally, all these things would stress me out. Yes, even the new car – because any change in my life usually causes anxiety, whether that change is good or bad. The fact that I’ve come down with an awful, disgusting cold the day before my last big test of the semester is frustrating. The fact that I haven’t studied very much is – my own fault – but still a little scary.
For some reason though, I’m not freaking out. Normally, I would be overwhelmed. But right now, I am surprisingly underwhelmed.
Maybe I’m starting to realize that worrying doesn’t get you anywhere.
Maybe I’ve been relying on God more than I usually do.
Maybe I’ve learned to cope with stressful situations a little bit better.
Maybe it’s just the cold medicine mellowing me out.
Whatever the reason, I’m feeling pretty good. I mean, I’m sick…with a cold…that doesn’t feel very good. But mentally I feel pretty good. And honestly, that hasn’t happened in a while. The past few months have been, as cliché as this is, a roller coaster. This year has been one of the worst years yet in terms of my anxiety disorders.
But guess what – the past few weeks have probably been the best of this year. Not to say that I didn’t experience anxiety at all, I just dealt with it a lot better. I did things afraid. I went out to restaurants even when my emetophobia was bad. I went out and met new people even when all I wanted to do was sit in my room and watch Lost. I went to class even when I was convinced I was going to die of some rare disease.
And even though right now I have a lot going on, I don’t feel stressed out.
It is possible to go through stressful times without feeling stressed. I honestly didn’t know I could do that anymore.