I guess I’ve technically been an adult for, what…3 years now? I mean, technically you’re an “adult” when you’re 18. You can vote. You can get married. You can drink…oh wait…
Anyway. I don’t really feel like an adult. “The future” still scares me. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, or even if you’ve just read a few posts, you’ll know that I pretty much worry about anything. And everything.
Unfortunately, not only do I worry about current events in my life, I worry about the future a lot. But why?! You may ask, Welp, I’m not sure. I know that worrying about it will not change it. I know that it’s counterproductive. I know that worrying really accomplishes nothing. Never. Nope, not ever. So why worry?
Why worry about the fact that I DO have student loans I need to pay back? Or the fact that I have friends who are getting engaged while I’m not even close to having any sort of romantic relationship, or the fact that some of my other friends already have real jobs and I still have zero idea what I want to do with my life?! Why worry about any of that!?
I don’t know. I wish I didn’t worry. I wish I didn’t think ahead so far. I wish I didn’t care about any of it. But I do.
The good news is, I know I don’t have to worry. No one HAS to worry. I can think logically. Rationally. And like I said, I know that worrying accomplishes nothing. Therefore, I also know that I can stop. It’s not easy. Especially considering my anxiety problems. But worry can be prevented.
But I’m the only one who can stop it.
That’s both a very comforting and scary thought.