I Did it Afraid (Sort Of)

So, I’ve talked a lot about “doing it afraid” (it being whatever you are afraid to do) but I haven’t been taking my own advice. Except for tonight. Well, sort of. I got invited by a friend to go see a local band play downtown. I hate going downtown. I don’t really like concerts. And lately, going ANYWHERE new has been a cause for great anxiety. But tonight I decided to do it afraid. Even though I barely ate for the whole day and my stomach felt like it had started to digest itself, my friend picked me up at 6:30 and off we went.

During the car ride I was a little nauseous. At one point she talked about throwing up recently and I sort of gagged a little bit. Still, I wasn’t going to let this stop me.
Well, long story short…our friend who we were supposed to meet at this place is SUPER disorganized and kind of screwed us over. Then we got stuck in traffic. My friend was so frustrated she asked me if I wanted to just turn around and go home.

I could have said no. I could have said “Nah, let’s keep going. It’ll be fine”. But I didn’t. I told her we should go home. So, we ended up going home. Now, if this situation hadn’t happened – I would have had no other choice but to stick it out. Unfortunately (or…fortunately for my anxiety) I didn’t have to stick it out.

Now I’m both disappointed and proud of myself. On the one hand, we didn’t even GO to the place. But it wasn’t because of my stomach – it was because our friend is a little dense sometimes. So, on the other hand – I did it afraid! I thought we would end up at this pub downtown and I went anyway. I got in her car and we drove down the highway and I thought we were going to go.

So, today… I didn’t let it stop me (mostly). And I did it afraid! (Sort of).

It’s still progress.

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