So today I feel as though I made some progress. A lot of my posts have been about my emetophobia lately because it’s been really, really bad. The past 5 years my emetophobia has been there, but it hasn’t been HORRIBLY bad. Well, the past few months it has basically stopped me from living. At least, living normally. But today, I think I made some progress.
Well maybe. Hopefully? Yeah. So today I was at work and my stomach started to feel a little weird right before we (my co-workers and I) had to go out and get some supplies. My entire digestive system has been off lately, and so not only do I worry about throwing up but I also worry about crapping my pants (which has never happened…not yet at least D:). ANYWAY, the point is…I just…IGNORED IT. Yeah, I chose to ignore it. I said to myself, “Hey, Self. You feel like this every single day and the likelyhood of “it” happening is very slim. And if “it” does happen – so what?! You’re with people you love and they will understand”. So guess what I did?
I actually chose to ignore it. I felt some CONTROL over the situation. I felt a tiny, measly, little bit of control over my anxiety. This has not happened in forever, possibly not ever! So even though it was a very small step – it was something. Like I said, I’m going to fight this head on this summer. It’s not going to take over.
It’s not going to define me. It’s not going to stop me.