My emetophobia stops me from doing a lot of things. I don’t feel like a normal 21 year old a lot of the time. When I’m too scared to go out to my friends housewarming party. When I’m too scared to go out to a bar. When I’m too scared to go see an up-and-coming local band play downtown. It sucks.
I’m sick and tired of letting it stop me. I’m sick of tired of thinking “what if”. It’s annoying. It’s stopping me from living a normal life. This is the first time in my life I’ve REALLY realized how completely and utterly stupid this fear is. It’s SO stupid. I’m terrified of throwing up. A normal bodily function. I would be willing to bet that at least 90% of my friends have thrown up in the past 1-2 years – because they drink! And that’s what happens sometimes. And they don’t care. Why do I care? I don’t even drink. AND I have a fairly strong stomach – so I shouldn’t be worried about something that has only happened a handful of times in my life right?!
Well, I shouldn’t. But I am. And guess what – it’s STUPID! It’s irrational. I’m holding onto something that is just. SO. STUPID. And I’m not going to anymore. It’s not going to be easy. But this summer, I plan on fighting this. I’ve never really tried before.
Now I’m going to.
Because my fear is stupid. But I’m not.