There is someone in my life who I love very much, but am terrified of turning out like. No, it is not either of my parents, but it is someone in my family.
I can see a lot of myself in this person; a lot of the things I don’t like about myself. And when I see how other people respond to her behaviour, it makes me realize that I never want to be like that. Although she suffers from depression, and I from anxiety, we do have a lot in common. It makes me realize that there are a lot of habits I need to change now before it’s “too late”.
I don’t want to be ungrateful even when so many people are doing so much for me.
I don’t want to refuse help when I desperately need it.
I don’t want others to avoid my phone calls when they see my number on their caller ID.
I don’t want to make people depressed just from talking to me for ten minutes,
I don’t want to grow old and wish I had done everything in my life differently.
I don’t want to wallow in self-pity every moment I’m awake.
I don’t want to spend visits with my family crying about what I wish I had.
I don’t want to do anything of the things I see my un-role model doing. Like I said, I love her very much, and she is family. But I don’t want to turn out that way.
I have seen the way a negative attitude and the avoidance of your problems can affect someone. And I’ll tell you, it’s not pretty.
Role models are important, but sometimes seeing your potential in someone who you don’t look up to can be even more jarring.
It’s sort of a wake-up call.
I also just want to say that I know it sounds like I’m being harsh. And this person does have problems with depression, and I am not being insensitive to those who do struggle with that. But the person I’m talking about suffers more from a perpetual negative attitude, ungratefulness, and feeling depressed about her life situation. She has been to doctors and does not have clinical depression or anything like that.